Please don't tempt me...

Thank you girlies for your wonderful and encouraging comments!! It really means so much to me! :-)

The nail polishing went wonderfully! I painted mine this very dark purple almost black but not black. and my friend painted this adorable flower on my thumb :-) oh and my toes are all glittery!!

the tofu and veggie stir fry was too good. i just wanted to eat and eat and eat. i kept myself just eating the tofu and veggies and left most of the rice noodles. i made sure not to serve myself too much. i hope it wasn't too much... i felt like i was eating a feast. then we had some jello shots and i got dragged to this new fro-yo place. i had to get a little bit of something to keep from being questioned. i got the tiniest bit of fat-free coconut with a couple gummy bears. i had like maybe 2 or 3 bites. 

i am somehow feeling so huge right now. i hate eating in front of everyone and feeling like i have to eat a "normal" amount. just eating "normal" food makes me feel icky sometimes. tomorrow will be better. and saturday and monday will be drinking days. i like to eat very little on those days so it doesn't take much at all to get drunk. less calories and more drunkenness :-) 

ok well good night girlies!! 

<3

Wow It HAs Been Forever!! I am BACK!

my incredibly awful weight gained up to: 118.6


i need to get back on track and get back to where i was when i left... 115. and then i would love to get to 111. i love that number. and 105 would be smashing.


i am working on my tattoo design now so of course i went and found some tattoo thins! check it out on one of my pages ^^ 
it's going to be flowers done in an alice in wonderland original style illustrations and i might throw a mushroom in there. :-D


missed you girlies!!


<3

Wow Its been like 3 months!

Ok so things have been crazy for the past few months. my husband has deployed recently and so i have gotten a little off track. i have still been running a lot... i now run between 2 and 5 miles every other day ish. sometimes when the weather is just beautiful i don't want to stop and just keep going haha. i wonder if any of the people I used to follow are still around...?
on the scale... I am 117. ugh. so like 3 pounds up from my last entry i think. i have been horrible with food lately. i don't eat a lot but i eat awful foods. like chinese last week. and a burger on yesterday (i only ate half but still). i dont always eat dinner but then i will have chocolate before i go to bed. it has just been a mess really.
i need to get back with it. i should be on here every day i think. so please help me keep on track.

just a little happy note: somehow i have managed to keep the space between my thighs :-) i want to make it bigger though like how it was a few months ago. i think i was down to like 111 around christmas...

been watching antm :-) i wish i was tall enough... only 5'5''

think thin thoughts!!
love <3

It's Been One of Those Weekends...

I really don't want to talk about it so here is the recap:
My other half and I had a fight. He has not forgiven me for things that happened 2 years ago. He says we have drifted apart and do not share hardly anything in common anymore. I am not sure what to do really because I have been trying so hard to keep things good with us. Everytime we are together we get on each other's nerves lately. 
I wrote a letter that states what to do if one day I don't wake up. I will keep it just in case. I haven't had those thoughts in about 2 years... Well maybe a little less than two years. I thought I had gotten past all of that and would be happy forever. Life isn't a fairy tale.
Oh and to top it off... my period started yesterday and I could not stop eating. Ugh. Today will be my first chance to get on a scale in over a week and I am afraid to.


Usually I would write something on the bright side but I don't know what. The wedding is in like 2 weeks and I am not even looking forward to putting on my perfect dress. I will comment on all your posts I have missed or at least read them. 
I need to be on here more so I stay on track better.


Think Thin!!
<3

Monday Nightly

So firstly...
If I am thin enough I will save money on shaving cream because there will be less to shave.
If I am thin enough people will use me as thinspiration
If I am thin enough I can wear anything I want and look damn good in it


So I picked up the dress and veil and garter! The lady who helped me do up the dress kept asking if i had lost weight :-) Somehow I think I have lost weight but also my boobs seem way huge! I swear when its almost that time of the month my boobs grow at least a cup size! Its crazy


So I am watching gossip girl and wishing it were a new episode... 


Intake:
oatmeal : 120
Sandwich : 135
snack of ham and low fat cream cheese : 45
roasted chestnuts : 150 (i know i shouldn't have but yummy)
4 bites of chicken, fresh green beans, 2 slices of bread : 275! awful
Total : 725


Out take : 567


TOTAL : 158


At least I got a lot of exercise in! I took both of the dogs on a walk today. It sure is a workout for my arms!


Hope everyone is well!!
I am not sure when I will get on next because of Thanksgiving but maybe I might squeeze some time in tomorrow.... Then who knows.


<3 

blerg

its a word i have adopted from 30 Rock.


so today has been horrible and i dont want to talk about it really but if i do then i can realize how disgusting i am and be better tomorrow.


intake:
oatmeal (130)
soup and salad (100)
a few chocolates (180!)
cookies (200)
another salad (50 because of cheese)
a biscuit (65)
peanut butter on toast (115)
TOTAL : 840!
I havent done this bad in a week!
oh and to top it off my other half will be home late. dinner is in the oven and i will have to eat it. blerg.


out take: 300 awful.


OVERALL TOTAL : 540.


for some reason i have been really tired today. i meant to clean the whole house but ended up only doing the living room, bedroom and part of the kitchen. at least i got the laundry done.


tomorrow will be better because i will be incredibly busy. i will try to get on here but im not promising anything.


stay strong people!!!!


<3