Wednesday, May 1, 2013

The scale

I got a scale today after not having one for like 9 months!!
I was 109 in July of last year... Today I am a whopping 121. Gross.
Time to kick it into gear. Swim suit season is coming up fast and I need to get back to a good weight. At least down to 115. It's way easier to get there with a scale. I think I need that motivation.

Love you all
<3 p="">

Friday, April 26, 2013

What do I want?

What do I want these days?
Do I want to live in a world where my happiness is controlled by my weight?
Do I want to always be worried about what people think of me?
Do I want to always be worried that I will end up depressed and suicidal?
Do I want to look forward to the pain I inflict on myself?
Do I want to constantly look for reassurance from others?
Do I want to be obsessed with calorie burning?
Do I always want to be counting calories?
Do I want to keep counting the hours, minutes, seconds since the next time I can eat?
Do I want people to really know me? Is it worth knowing me? Am I a good friend?
What do I want to do with my life? What do I want out of life?

It's been months with out a scale. I feel fat, ugly, and tired most of the time.

I feel too tired to make friends. People I work with are nice sometimes and other times petty.
They are mostly all fat. Why do I include that here?

My emotions are like a roller coaster.

I ordered a scale. It will be delivered in a few days.

Husband is coming home tomorrow. He was gone for almost 3 weeks. It's up to me what we do on Sunday. I have no ideas... Not much to do here. I may see if he wants to go to the gym with me or running or something lie that. Then maybe a movie in the afternoon?

I do more online shopping now. I have been meaning to go to Victoria secret these past couple weeks but haven't felt good enough to go... Times almost up.

Love y'all.


Thursday, March 7, 2013

Real life...

Well it sucks sometimes... I was worried about one of my students and so I did some research on him and brought my findings to the AP. after they did some of their own research, they agreed something is up. With dark circles under his eyes all the time, failing 3 of 4 classes and his passivity... They are now looking into getting the social worker involved. I hope it gets better... I'll be keeping my eye on him.

I've done yoga every day this week :-) makes me feel great. I really want to have a great beach body here soon. When the weather starts getting nice I want to spend time at the beach. Now that we only live 15 mins from the ocean :-)

Well it's Big Bang theory time and then sleep. Got to wake up at 6am every morning now...

Love you all
<3 p="">

Tuesday, March 5, 2013


What are your opinions on having a six pack as a girl?

I don't have one but I am getting good definition... The hubby likes them and wishes I wanted one... I don't want a six pack because I think they are just unladylike or whatever   I don't know I'm open to change I guess.

In the middle of doing some stripper yoga right now... Just taking a quick break. It's pretty much a mix of yoga and sexy dancing I made up. I'm doing it to a pandora mix of lmafo radio. Keeps me fit and not bored.

Sorry for the choppy post and long absence. Graduated and got a job! Woot woot. The business made me lose weight then gain weight. And no scale right now :-(. I guess it's good and bad. I just have to keep staying on track.

Love you all!!!

<3 p="">