Sunday, October 14, 2012

this will be short

friday was great. had a luna bar for breakfast and some veggies with a little bit of hummus for lunch. that was it! no dinner! total for friday: 230 maybe and i think that is still high

saturday was not as great.... husband made me breakfast! english muffin (a light one at least) with cheese, bacon (minus the icky total fat parts), and some guacamole. yummy... but probably like 300 calories. then we had barbecue for lunch maybe 400 calories and burger for dinner 400 calories. plus a beer! 120. total.... whopping 1220!! 

today.... banana bread for breakfast 200, leftover burger for lunch 300 (fewer toppings!) and hopefully something light for dinner. total so far... 500.

my weights... saturday morning! a lovely 113.4! I checked like 10 times! 
this afternoon at like 2pm ish.... 115.4! I know it was after breakfast and lunch but still.

i wont have a scale again until friday. at least it is 1.6 pounds less than last sunday!! Would have been nice to be 3.6 pounds less though... let's hope great things for friday!!

love you allll!!!!!!!
welcome new followers!!! ill check you out probs tomorrow!!

Thursday, October 11, 2012

get at me!

can you believe this is post 200?? crazy!

food is doing awesome today:
breakfast : peach chobani 140
snack : tiny apple 35
lunch : carrots, cherry tomatoes, and hummus 100
snack : come tortilla chips and guac : 200 (i know but still pretty low)
Total so far: 475

i am so tired today... dont even know why. i am going to try to do a total of 30 mins exercise today: crunches, pilates and yoga

love you all!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

my favorite show starts soon!

my favorite tv show is law and order svu and yes it is starting like now!!
its time for boots again!!!

intake not as great today... 
breakfast: pineapple greek yogurt : 160
snack: half banana : 45
lunch: carrots, grape tomatoes and hummus : 150
snack: some rice with carrots, tofu and soy beans : 200
dinner: salad, pierogies, pork : 450!! ahhhhh
total: 1050 :-(

should have taken a nap instead of snacking on that rice dish...

got lots done today though.... 
and i got my boots back from the cobbler! they look perfect :-)

ok svu on now!!!
love you all!! i will comment during commercials!

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

et maintenant?

just took the hydrocodone/acetamenaphin combo from the dentist so soooon i will be falling asleep peacefully.
thanks for the comments girls! 

it didnt go great at the dentist but its over.... 

breakfast: belvita (220)
dinner: attempted to eat some soup and crackers... maybe 100
    i got sick feeling again after a few spoonfuls and crackers...
    silver lining i suppose
total:: 320! saweet!!

im gonna go and comment now before i fall asleep! sorry if it doesnt make sense


good morning my lovelies!!

woke up this morning and my stomach is nice and flat today! made me happy. it had been all bloaty lately but i think now i am back to restricting it will stay nice and flat.

last night at dinner somehow i got a stomach ache like for real after i had finished eating my vegetables... i didn't even have to touch the risotto! i just waited for everyone to finish and went back up to my room! Instead of the 1200 calories probably on my plate... i only ate the peas and a couple bites of the pork! so maybe 200 calories tops. 

to all of you who binge/purge... here's a little real life pit fall... today i am going to the dentist to get a crown! yup only 23 and getting a crown. after years and years of purging and purging i definitely weakened my teeth and last week i was eating some pita chips and hummus and my tooth cracked! after work today its off to the dentist for 3 hours of misery. the only thing that isnt so bad is ill be taking a valium so im less anxious... i did however finally find a dentist i like! too bad he is here by parents and not by my actual house with my hubby! :-( ok enough pity me... please stop purging girls! 

food plan:
breakfast: coffee and half pack of belvita 130
snack: half banana 50
lunch: carrots, cherry tomatoes and hummus 125
snack: maybe greek yogurt but i will probably be too anxious to eat before the dentist
dinner: none - i will hopefully not be eating after the dentist just come home and sleep

love you girls!! have a wonderfully skinny day!!!

Monday, October 8, 2012


yogalates is my new favorite past time :-) 

i have been pretty off and on with exercising lately... i should try harder to workout more often even if its just yoga or something. I will make that my goal for the next couple weeks! 

food stuffs today has been alright... better than last week and the week before.
breakfast: luna bar 180
snack: half banana 50
lunch: carrots, green beans and hummus 130
snack: pasta! ugh. small bowl with pesto 200
total so far: 560

my mom is making pork and risotto with mushrooms! so fatty and high cal!! I have to eat a small portion and not make it look like i am watching what i am eating. i used to be so good at this... let's see how i do. it's weird being back at the family house after being gone for so long...

unfortunately i cant weigh in while i am here unless everyone is gone which is like never.... so probably no weigh in until friday or saturday...

how often do you think about dying? about writing a note? about inflicting pain on yourself until its all you can think about? how many scars do you have? how many bruises? how many hidden blades? how many times have you had to wear that hoodie because you had to cover up some cut even though its burning up? 

i keep thinking about writing that note. for safe keeping just in case. 
i put a dent in the wall a couple weeks ago with my head... had a lovely bruise on my forehead for a few days... just thought maybe, just maybe, i wouldnt hear the voices in my head anymore. 

on my radio this week: modest mouse and bright eyes

love you all!!!

for realsies?

this post wouldnt post last night... also didnt save right but i dont feel like re-writing it...

ok so i know my posts seem to be sporadic but i do always seem to come back...

biggest news i guess would be that i took the gre and lsat and now i am applying to law schools!! kinda exciting! 
i also got my belly button pierced :-)
bad news... i am back to 117... blerg. i am having trouble not having easy access to a scale... back living with the parents until i finish out the semester

new stuff: took the gre and lsat. i am applying to law school! fun stuff!
     got my belly button pierced! super cute! 
     things are good with the hubby again
     did not sleep with that guy although i was wanting to
     back up to 117 ugh. i really cant live without a scale and still stay skinny
     back to self-harming... i dont know why but i do not like that word... but i cant saying cutting since i dont really cut any more.... no knife or blade... ive started using my fingernails. its less obvious but still effective. this time its on the back of my neck... have i mentioned my hair is like super long now! i have finally gotten it as long as i have always wanted! back to the "cutting"... it just seems to calm me down and let me forget about things. 

love you all!!