Monday, October 31, 2011

Happy Halloween!

Just a quick one for now. Still 120... This sucks. The race was good but cold... 39 degrees!
Had breakfast but skipping Lynch and dinner. Drinking tonight! Vodka mostly probs.
I gained 10 pounds since September 1st. I hate that. I lose in times of chaos and I guess its not chaos anymore?
Love you all and I will try to post bette later

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Thinspo and Boots Boots

Just a few thinspo pics and these amazing cute boots i got!

 I hate that I gained but here is my new starting photo... i still haven't bought a full length mirror.... and i know the outfit doesn't match the shoes haha I just wanted to show them on... 


Doing good

Well I lost two pounds with during my period. 

Do you ever wonder what the effects of our disorders will have on our lives in the future? I always do but then I never seem to really give it up. 

Anyways I am in a great mood today! I only have one test next week! :-)

Going to church tonight. Looking forward to it.

I think I will go to the gym for a quick workout today. I am doing a 5K run tomorrow for a charity for down syndrome.

Then halloween!! We are being aliens... shiny boots, leggings and lots and lots of glitter! :-)

Love you all!!! I will try and read and comment on this week! It might take a couple days to get through everyone :-)


Monday, October 24, 2011

You all amaze me!

You really do all amaze me. We all have such a great strength when we put our strengths together! I also have no idea how i now have 77 followers? I hope I don't disappoint too much?

Here are the long promised exercises::

Target the butt:
1- on all fours you alternate kicking out opposite leg and arm. This will help with balance and strengthen your gluttes. I like to put on ankle weights to burn more cals and speed up the toning process.
2- standing up, you may need a chair or something to balance. lift your leg to the side, slowly. hold it in the air for 4 to 8 seconds before lowering. try to tense up your stomach muscles to strengthen the core and get ready for not using a balance. 
3- spread leg squats are a great one for the gluttes. get in a second position (ballet) and do a whole bunch of squats pausing when you get to 90 degree angles at your knees. when you go to push yourself back up try to feel the conscious rotation from your hips down to your knees and feet. turn out starts at the hips. only turn out your knees and feet as your hips allow.

Target the stomach:
2- crunches of course.
3- just try to consciously tense up your stomach muscles trying to bring your belly button inward to touch your back... also try to bring your ribs in with it in a curling motion inward... hard to explain. doing this enough will make it so your are doing it without thinking and then you will look smaller :-) 

Target the thighs:
1- leg lefts of any kind are great as long as you do them with control. control is always key. just throwing your legs around will not tone you up... 
2- walking. up hill, down hill, or flat ground. Walking tones all parts of your legs.
3- Marching in place while watching tv is pretty good.
4- or lay on your bed so your knees and below are off the bed, on your stomach. and flutter kick... helps tone the thighs. ankle weights are helpful to feel the burn faster. 

Hope these are helpful....? Sorry to rush off but i have 3 tests this week. i was taking 7 classes this semester and finished one so now i am down to six. it is still a lot of work. 

Thank you for all of your continued support!! I love you all!!

Still alive.

Fat and disgusting. Blah.
Love you all. Sorry to let you down.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

I have to go to work. I only have 3 shifts left since I quit. My last day is saturday. I can't wait. It is my senior year at university and I need to be able to focus on my classes more. I wish I could just stop going to work now. I just have no motivation for it now that I know I am quitting and I never really liked the job to begin with.
Oh well... Just stick it out.

I go shopping every thursday for groceries. I allow myself up to $50 a week. For this past week I only spent 27 :-) I hope to stick around that again tomorrow. I save so much not buying meat and dairy stuff. I think I may try to be vegetarian again. I will start small again. I will start with no red meat. Since I already do not eat fish or pork. Then once I am good without red meat I will move on to poultry. Then eggs and gelatin. Well at least until my hubby comes home in only 3 and half months! I can't wait!! 

Ok I really have to go. I am already late for work. I just don't care anymore. My boss would probably still give me an amazing review even if I came late and left early everyday. Which I will probably do today. Blah. Stupid work.

stay strong girls!! 

I will post some workout ideas later! I have been having trouble getting to the gym lately so these will be at home workouts! 

Monday, October 10, 2011

Music Memories.

Had a cigarette. yummy. full of energy! listening and dancing to some old music.
hot hot heat.
i used to blast this stuff from the bathroom when i would purge and purge until i was empty. i like the up beat-ness and words and stuff. i like the piano in the background. that was like years ago. back when i was just 17. five years seems like so long ago but so close now. weird.
weird mood right now.
i love cigarettes.

i want to be a skinny girl. i want to be care free and happy. i want to have crazy happy dreams.
dream update:
i had this dream where i saw this guy with a huge piece of glass sticking out of his stomach and then he pulled it out and then he had to pull his shirt out of the wound and then he just had this open wound and i couldn't stop looking at it. the weirdest part was that i wasn't grossed out. usually i would have been. 
anyways... i am going to sleep so i can wake up early and get my essay done before class and the homework... i sooo procrastinated to the max. 
love you all! i commented on some of your blogs! 
have a happy tuesday tomorrow if i don't get a chance to blog!

I want me back.

This was me a couple weeks ago...

Still growing at 22?

I am only a quarter of an inch away from being 5'6 :-)
How does that happen? Beginning of august I was just 5'5.
Welcome even more new followers!! How do I have 70 followers? I love you all!
Well class is about to start... I'll post more later hopefully

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Scarves and Layers!!

I would love to look swamped in my clothes like some of these girls!! Stay Strong Girls!! Time for me to read and comment :-) Love Y'all!

Salut mes filles!

Gooood morning!! Sorry it took a little longer than expected... And i am not even down a whole pound... almost though. 117.2 is still moving in the right direction and I can't leave you ladies too long. 
I am glad you all like to read my blog and I can't believe I have 67 followers!? How did that happen when I have been so non-existent lately? Anyways... Welcome ladies! I always read and comment my new followers! 

So the new TJ Maxx and Target opened this week! Well TJ Maxx opened this morning and yes I was there at 8am when it opened! I got a free little bag :-) Awesome! I love that store! I got this adorable pair of gray steve madden heels and a new bra! unfortunately i am down to an A cup :-( that is the bad thing about losing weight... So i got a push up bra and hopefully that will make them look bigger. 

I think I will do some thinspo searching today since I am on break and I have lots of spare time! 

My apartment is spotless! last night i was craving food just in general any kind of food. so what did I do? I cleaned. I even scrubbed the tile floors! This was in the middle of the night... i had woken up and for some reason had tons of energy so i just cleaned and cleaned until there was nothing left to clean... Then I went back to sleep feeling much better. 

Todays plan:
Go grocery shopping with a list. I have the list: fruit, veggies, fiber cereal, 40-calorie bread loaf, honey, lemon juice, eggs and butter. I have to get the eggs and butter for girl night tomorrow night. We are making halloween cupcakes :-) I will try to limit myself to just one cupcake.  I also want to get some parsley and mint. I think I will make some tabouleh with the quinoa and then I can have that and it won't be too high cal for lunches. 
That is all I need and I really want to stick to it. 

Tutor this kid in Chemistry.

Take the dog to the park for a walk. I am going to do this after I finish this post... The weather is beautiful!!

Ok sorry for the long post... I will try to get the thinspo pics up this afternoon and I have more things to talk about but I need to go for this walk the dog is crazy if he doesn't get his exercise and it will be good for me too!


p.s. - new followers i will read and comment you this afternoon! old friends i will also read and comment! like i said I have lots of time :-)

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

just a quick update

I know i have been sort of non-existent on here lately... i am sorry. i have still been reading your blogs here and there and commenting a little. 
i am so off track it is crazy! well I was. I am starting to get back where i need to be going but it will be weeks before i am back to 110. i am actually 118 right now! how awful! I gained 8 pounds in September. I had been bingeing super crazy and exercising like half of what I should have been doing. 
So i need to take small steps to get back on track. this bingeing thing kills me. last night i finally broke the binge cycle. weeks of binging. how did i do this? by not going to the grocery store. i have no junk food in my house. i have no meat. i have no white carbs. 
i have: quinoa, parmesan cheese, lettuce, carrots, and thats about it! The only way to really get back on track right now is to have no temptations. 
only 4 months left before my hubby comes home and i need to be so skinny and amazing looking! he has become like so muscly and all and here i am fatso fatso fatso. 
soo... can i lose 13 pounds in 4 months? That is like just over 3 pounds a month. sounds pretty do-able. 
i will post again when i lose a pound... when i am 117. I am only going to allow myself to post when i have lost a full pound.
love you all!!
i will keep reading and commenting as i can!!!

breakfast: water!
lunch: coffee! and some carrots.
dinner: quinoa perhaps.