The numbers:
Calorie Intake: 520
Exercise: -650
Total : -130
Somehow I still feel awfully fat? Why are people at the gym always so much skinnier than me? I swear all the girls there were just twigs!
I'm sipping on laxative tea as I write this hoping it might make me feel better?
I think I want to cut out salt from my diet. Like completely. Is that possible? I hear that salt can make you puffier than you are.
I got a compliment today saying my butt looked smaller. I measured. Smaller by half an inch.
I feel like with a net calorie thing of -130 I should feel good. I should feel thinner. But I just have this feeling that it's not enough you know? Like I will wake up tomorrow and somehow I will weigh more. Which is entirely possible I suppose. I have no idea how my body functions really. Like I understand mathematically but in reality it's not the same.
Only about 4 weeks left until the hubby comes home. If I can lose 10 pounds I can be 111.4 when he gets back.
10 pounds in four weeks. That is 2.5 pounds a week. I know it is possible. I really want to do it. And if I am still muscly then 111.4 would look like less than it is.
I think if I keep working out like I am and eating a little less that I can make it. At 112 I will be underweight technically. I feel like my frame is small enough that it would really be less. Who knows.
Odd post sorry followers... I seem to just right exactly what I am thinking. I often ramble.
Miranda Kerr VS Model : Skinny and Boobs!
Love you all!!!
<3
I want to be so skinny that my legs look like they will break when I walk.
So yesterday I was 122... gross. Today I am back to 121.4 despite the awful burger I ate. I guess the exercise paid off.
The numbers:
Breakfast: cereal with soy milk : 170
Lunch: tba but probably none. maybe a fiber one
Dinner: tba but probably soup
Exercise: none yet but I will go to the gym this evening after work
I wish I knew how much of me was fat and how much muscle...
The gap between my legs is coming back which means I must be turning my fat into muscle otherwise I would weigh less
I am contemplating showering... Do you ever just not want to get in the shower? I hate the cold feeling afterwards. Plus if I go to the gym this evening I will shower after that.
I work 12-4. Then I need to go to the bank and deposit my paycheck and some christmas checks.
Gym will be after I get home and take care of the dog. If I play it right, I can skip both lunch and dinner. Just eat a fiber one bar if i feel weak before the gym.
So this is the only way I know how to lose weight. Nothing else works. From october to december I tried to lose weight healthily but somehow that made me 126 on boxing day.
I think I am going to do some ab workout stuff and then read. I only have until monday before school starts.... I will read blogs first.
And I think I will try and do something special when I get 100 followers... I don't know what but if you have any ideas let me know.
I want to post progress pics when I get to 118. Then 115. Then 112 and then 109.
Love you all!!
<3
Thank you ascendancy and skinntobsession9 for the advice :-)
I will drink some more water. I couldn't just stay put though... I ended up going back to the gym tonight for another hour.
Total exercise: -1107
Total Intake: somewhere around 785
Total: -322
Even after all that working out i kinda still feel icky. i am ready for tomorrow!!! It is time for sleep now. Please be nice to me in the morning scale...
Going to watch an episode of gossip girl before i doze off.
I will catch up on your blogs tomorrow morning when I hopefully feel less of a fatty. stupid burger...
Love!
<3
P.S. - got to stop purging...
The numbers:
Breakfast: cereal and soy milk : 150
Lunch: burger with goat cheese : 400! how awful! I really don't know how much it was... but i ate it no bun and no fries.... but so awful!
Dinner: tba but hopefully nothing!
Exercise: 607
Total: -57
I can't believe I ate the whole fucking burger! seriously? My stomach is feeling terrible right now!! So much fat and so much beef. I feel sick. Unfortunately I waited to long to throw it up... I might try though. Ugh!
I will post more when I feel better.
Hope you all are doing better than me today!!
<3
Later:
ok i managed to purge some but had to stop because i was coughing up blood.
about to drink some laxative tea. i just want this out of me.
don't have enough time to go to the gym again before i go tutor this kid.
and my family is having Galette de Roi tonight.... I can't refuse because it is a big family tradition and last year we missed it.
I will just eat a tiny piece hopefully and then rush home and purge if i can. i don't know. i dont want to cough up blood again. stupid cold weather making my throat dry.
well i need to prepare for tutoring....
please be better than me!
The numbers:
Breakfast: none
Lunch: small bowl of pasta with parmesan and an apple: 215 not sure, could be less
Dinner: veggie salad (45) and light chicken noodle soup (75) : 120
Exercise: yoga power flow and stair master: 600 or more...
Total: -265
Surprisingly I feel incredibly full right now!
I have been sort of shaky today since I have been working out a ton and eating less. But I am not hungry... or if I am it is not registering really. My muscles are so sore but I love it. It makes me feel like I really am changing and it makes me happy. Tomorrow I will be doing the bike or treadmill at the gym.
When my eating disorder was at its highest I would spend 4 to 6 hours at the gym.... from the cardio machines to the weight machines to the pool to the steam room and I would just keep going. I was addicted to it. I don't want to get that bad again.... but 2 hours seems to be a good amount of time I think.
Went to the grocery store and got: a ton of fresh veggies and apples, some chicken breasts, coffee, cereal and fiberone bars. Oh and soy milk and some sugar free fat free yogurts.
Be the best version of you!!
<3
Taylor Momsen! Her legs just go on forever!!!!
