Thursday, September 22, 2011
Just going through the motions?
Yesterday was weird. I just didn't really feel like I was there. It was more like I was just some body going through the motions of the day. It was getting really weird and I tried digging my nails into my back to snap out of it. It didn't work and I now have a bunch of weird nail marks on my back.
The concert was interesting :-) We went to mexican first... i split a chicken salad with my friend and we split a pitcher of margaritas which we added extra tequila to. we were pretty tipsy. anyways it started raining. we were all out there just getting drenched and I didn't even feel the cold. i was just happy and drunk. sorry for the randomness. i am just feeling pretty weird these days.
i think maybe the sleep deprivation is getting to me.
i get like 3 hours of sleep every night for the past week.
sorry for not posting. sorry for not commenting. i have been reading some of your posts here and there.
i should have more time at the end of the month. i did not make it to my goals i don't think. i was 110 at the beginning of the month. i don't know what i weigh right now but it is not 105. i still have the gap between my legs. my butt is smaller.
love you girls!!
How old were you when you noticed you had an eating disorder? What made you realize?
I was 13. I do not even know what pushed me towards it. I just remember worrying about calories and fat and carbs. I remember walking instead of taking the tram to school. i was living in france. i would pretend to be "sick" so I could get out of eating meals with the family. i would walk downtown and window shop just to walk. i would roller blade for hours. so the craziness started then. nine years ago!