I'm not going to lie... My time on here will probably be pretty sporadic for quite some time. I am still at 121.
School is crazy busy. I am taking 18 credits divided up into 7 classes! It's a lot but its my last semester of classes so its all good and almost over.
the hubby comes home reallllly soon. less than two weeks. i keep getting waves of utter excitement and then utter depression. its quite odd. im not like manic depressive usually but its been like that the past two weeks now. like one minute i will be on top of the world and cant stop smiling and just itching to like burst! and then the next minute i will be like so depressed thinking i might start cutting again. it is a strange feeling indeed! oh it has also got my head acting weird sometimes too. i fell asleep in the doctor's office yesterday! i had gone in friday for a TB shot thing and then my follow up was yesterday and i fell asleep in the chair in the little room. i seem to get very tired sometimes and just fall asleep.
at nights i have been taking some pills to make me dreamy and sleepy.
oh did i tell you about the dream i had where i was kidnapped by the kgb and was forced to watch people i knew get murdered? that was freaky.
doing my own version of the special k challenge. its like sort of the same but i make sure that my cal intake is like a lot less... it just gives me a structure i suppose. makes me eat regularly so i dont over eat. its working. i was back up to 124 on sunday and i am 121 again now. just goes to show how quick the not eating thing works sometimes. that crazy gym going me was not working.... this is easier. just dont eat. simple. im at about 700 cals now and incredibly full.
tomorrow i have school from 8 until 6:15! its long but keeps me busy! i wish the time would go faster so the hubby can be home and my emotions can go back to normal!!
love you all so much!!!!