10-Day Diet Full On

So I got on the scale this morning as always and i was glad to see the scale had stayed the same. 116.6   i was worried about gaining from yesterday but all is good. my hair is almost her color just a tiny bit redder in some places and blonder in others... i'll post some pics later... 

Now I am starting a super diet with Jane Pansy! Here are the guidelines::


Breakfast: Sugar Free Red Bull (i may be cheep and get sugar free monsters...) (10 cals)
Lunch: Activia Light Yogurt (70 cals)
Dinner: Fresh fruits and veggies (whatever that adds up to...)
Negative calories foods are ok for snacks. 
Decaf tea and water to stay fuller.
Weigh in first thing in the morning. 
Get 7-9 Hours of sleep.
Do yoga or another light exercise or more if you can handle it.


I am pretty excited for this!! I am sipping on my sugar free red bull now :-) And surprisingly my stomach is good with that... 


I will post pics of me again when i get to 111 :-) that is 5.6 pounds away. Hopefully it will be a lot closer after this diet!


Stay strong and positive girlies!!! I am off to search for some amazing thins and read all of your wonderful blogs!! 


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GYM! HERE I COME!

I have not been to the actual gym in like 2 whole months! I know! Fat ASS! 
I am about to walk out the door :-)
unfortunately i caved and had a big veggie salad... no dressing though. 
anyways I am off to burn a bajillion calories! 


I will read blogs and post more thinspo and such tonight!


<3


Back from the gym :-) I biked at a good pace on one of those machines for an hour and 30 minutes! When i got up to stretch my legs felt like jelly haha walking home i probably looked like a bafoon... oh well. i am happy with how long i worked out! 
i can't believe i have gained 6 followers since i got back on here sunday night! I love you all! you make me feel heard :-)
it is seven o clock and i am now trying to procrastinate and avoid eating dinner... i think i will have some chicken broth later though. 

later.... ok so i am feeling incredibly weak right now :-( it's good and then not good. so i am about to get a glass of water, maybe some tea and curl up on the couch and watch desperate housewives :-) i skipped out on the broth because i am too tired to heat it up haha i almost caved and had some peanut butter and then gave it to my dog instead. he loved it. for some reason i am really craving starbursts!! my mouth is watering thinking about them. is that so weird?

Dream Horrors

First things first:


Calorie intake:: 425
Calorie out take:: 652


Total :: -227


So i always have crazy dreams... my craziest have been: 


screaming in my sleep and running for the door while thinking there are bugs in my hair and trying to get them out. i had to be tackled to wake me up.


waking up and jumping out of bed because i was sure someone was standing in my doorway


jumping out of bed because i thought the apartment was full of smoke like it was on fire


and last night was this: i woke up in the middle of the night sure that someone had just knocked on my bedroom window. 


i really don't know why i get these dreams... oh and another one a while back was i dreamed that the skin on my foot was falling off and i was trying to hold it on.


i am hoping tonight is much better! 


sweet dreams everyone!!


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Wow It HAs Been Forever!! I am BACK!

my incredibly awful weight gained up to: 118.6


i need to get back on track and get back to where i was when i left... 115. and then i would love to get to 111. i love that number. and 105 would be smashing.


i am working on my tattoo design now so of course i went and found some tattoo thins! check it out on one of my pages ^^ 
it's going to be flowers done in an alice in wonderland original style illustrations and i might throw a mushroom in there. :-D


missed you girlies!!


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Wow Its been like 3 months!

Ok so things have been crazy for the past few months. my husband has deployed recently and so i have gotten a little off track. i have still been running a lot... i now run between 2 and 5 miles every other day ish. sometimes when the weather is just beautiful i don't want to stop and just keep going haha. i wonder if any of the people I used to follow are still around...?
on the scale... I am 117. ugh. so like 3 pounds up from my last entry i think. i have been horrible with food lately. i don't eat a lot but i eat awful foods. like chinese last week. and a burger on yesterday (i only ate half but still). i dont always eat dinner but then i will have chocolate before i go to bed. it has just been a mess really.
i need to get back with it. i should be on here every day i think. so please help me keep on track.

just a little happy note: somehow i have managed to keep the space between my thighs :-) i want to make it bigger though like how it was a few months ago. i think i was down to like 111 around christmas...

been watching antm :-) i wish i was tall enough... only 5'5''

think thin thoughts!!
love <3

A Little Setback

I bought some nice lingerie today for my wedding day :-)

I hope you are all staying strong this holiday season. I have been trying hard these past 2 days but it has not been so good.
I won't go into yesterdays intake and such but I will say that I was not in the negative like I usually try to be.
Today I will be. I just got back from a long run with the dog :-) I burned about 411 calories running and I will get more in later.


So I usually have some pretty weird dreams. Do you guys ever have really weird dreams?
So my dream last night was this: I had mushrooms growing off of my legs. Like not little one but pretty good sized mushrooms. I go to my doctor and ask her what to do about them. She picks one off and gives it to me and says "Here you can eat it." What in the world does that dream mean? If anyone has any ideas, please share.


Think Thin girls!!


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Blerg...

So good news and not so good news. 

Good news : I am down to 114.8 and so I got to my first goal!

Not so good news : I kind of binged today.

I am drinking some laxative tea now. For some reason I have not "relieved my bowels" in like 3 or 4 days.

Intake : yogurt and cereal which i didn't finish for breakfast (59) i only had a few bites :-)
              an open ham and cheese sandwich i made on low cal bread (115)
              clemintine (35)
              cornbread and pasta salad and tiny bits of chicken (175)
              now the binge : 1/3 of a brownie, pretzel thins, some chocolates, a cookie! (344)
                        728 calories! ugh. and it was a lot of bad stuff.
Out Take : i made up for almost all of it. -716 calories!! i ran and walked and ran some more and jogged in place while watching Friends and then did an at home workout. 


Total : 12.


I will post thinspo before i go to sleep. 
Think Thin girls! And I hope you all did better than me today!!


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Quiet Time

So pretty good today!
I am down to 116.6 :-)


Intake : 530
Out Take : 693
Total : -163
This is for now... I may do more exercise.


So I am back at my house. No inlaws or anyone to disturb me. Me and the dog :-)
I will be studying like crazy! And maybe see some of the girls. We will see.


I won't be able to fast because of the studying and when I fast I can't think as well. So I will just eat a little and go running everyday I am here. I will only be here until sunday morning i think.


The Office and 30 Rock and Outsourced on tonight!!


I love 30 Rock!


Stay strong and think thin girlies!! I will try and post a thinspo by the end of the night!!!


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Oh So Sleepy

This will be a short one. I am so tired. One exam down and one to go. Oh and I start working on the 15th. I am excited! 


Intake : 533
Out Take : 610
Total : -77


So I know that I am in the negative but I feel so huge right now. I think it is because I am so tired and I did not get to actually run today :-( I did other workouts and walked instead. I feel so drained. I think preparing for the exam just took everything out of me. I am a 4.0 student and so I study like crazy and make sure I don't get below 4.0.
I think it is part of the OCD type behavior.... I am a little bit of a perfectionist.


Stay Strong Girls! 
No thinspo for today but if you haven't already, check out the past few days. I have pu out a few thinspo posts.


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Sleep :-) Ahhhh Sleep

Intake : 461
Out Take : 555 
Total : -94 
That's just for now. I still have to eat dinner with the in laws and then I will burn it all off before I go to bed.


Anyway... So I ran again today probably like 5 miles again. I also did some pilates. But after I got back from the run and showered, I could barely move for some reason. I don't know why. Yesterday I still had quite some energy after the run. 
So I took a nap. I slept for like 3 hours and I still feel pretty weak. It makes no sense to me. The nap was great though!! I love sleep! I haven't been sleeping well through the nights so it was so nice to catch up a little. 


I got on the scale today after my nap and I was 117.2. My new accurate scale is great because I don't have to guess like I did on the old one that didn't have a digital thing on it. I will update my goals because I am back to where the old scale said I was almost. 


Stay Strong girlies!!


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Monday of Mondays

I resisted eating a lovely lindor chocolate ball last night! I was so proud because usually i eat one chocolate every night and it is the first time in quite sometime i made it without one. sort of a ritual so i am glad i broke it.


Intake : 501
Out Take : 696


Total : -195!


I have fallen into my old ways and i am good with that. I start by exercising like crazy. I just go and go and go and go... Today: I ran 5 miles today. Then I did an at home workout : leg lifts, crunches and such, and then I stretched for like 30 or so minutes. Then I went shopping for my wedding band. I swear I walked and walked for so long. I finally came across the perfect one and I can't wait for it to arrive :-) Oh and I am about to burn another 100 or so calories jogging in place. It will probably end up more like 150 or 200.


I know I eat a lot but I try to make up for it. I started this way last time and after about 2 or so weeks I started eating more like 200 calories and then none. I will be skinny soon.


I love you all! I won't write much more but I will post more thinspo! 


Think Thin Girlies!!


Oh and I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE BLACK SWAN!! It's coming to the indie theater near me and I am so excited!!!!


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Super Motivated Sunday!!

So get this... I sort of ate a lot but I worked out so hard. 
Intake: 875 (I went to Jersey Mike's with my father in-law and so had to get a small sub. sort of ruined my intake but oh well. )


Out Take: 1110!! Can you believe it? I took the dog for a loooong run like 5 or 6 miles and then I went and worked out at the gym later! I am not sure what even got me so motivated but I didn't want to stop. I had to stop when the gym closed. Have I totally lost it? I think maybe I was so mad that I ate so much that I just had to keep burning more and more calories! 


Total : -235!


Today's weight : 118 which is 0.2 less than yesterday. I know it's huge. It will be less soon. I just have to keep working out and eat less. Let's hope tomorrow's is less :-)


Oh and I finally found the charger for my camera so maybe I will put up some pictures.... 


I hope everyone is doing great!!


I am going to post some thinspo now! I will have fun finding some awesome pictures!


I love all of your comments :-) Thank you!


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Good Morning!

Today when I woke up I was ready to go. I laid in bed for a couple minutes with the dog and then got up. I was disappointed when I got on the scale... I think running yesterday was not the best for weight loss. I am sure it is good but instead of making me lose I think it made me gain.


I am in a good mood though! I am ready to stay focused and lose lose lose. 


Breakfast : low sugar oatmeal : 120
Lunch :
DInner : 
Out take :
Total :


I will take the dog for a run or walk again today. I think if I just keep running that eventually, hopefully soon, I will lose again. Just build up the muscles first I guess.


I will be posting thinspo hopefully today. It is my bridal shower but I should have some time.


Stay Strong and Think Thin Ladies!!


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This was me at 110. Its a little hard to see but the collar bones are definitely there.

Sometimes I think my mind plays tricks on me

I bought a scale today. I had been using the one here but I did not feel like it was very accurate so I got one today with 0.2 lb increments. I like being able to know exactly how much I weigh. exactly. this afternoon it said 118.2. i think it will be less in the morning.


i was driving today and i thought i saw a naked man walking down the road. turned out he was wearing khaki carrharts. 


Intake : 657 
Out take : 476
Total : 181


the little app i have on my itouch tells you what weight you will be if everyday were like today and it said in 5 weeks i would be 103. I would love to be 103!


so my sister also "diets" and her bmi is 18.4. Point one under weight. she is super skinny. i think she is also ana but i know she probably wouldn't tell me. i think she knows i was before. i don't know though. lucky her though she is taller than me.


hope everyone is getting super thin!


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A Bright Side of Thursday

Well yesterday I applied for a job and today I am supposed to call K to follow up. The place opens at 10 so I am thinking I should call at 10:30? I mean she has to have some time... I don't want to be annoying. I am excited though! I miss having a job.


Today is also my last day of class before exams. I have 2 exams. I really do not want to go... but I feel like if I don't go I might miss something important about the exam... So I will go maybe just for the first half though. 


Intake : 
Breakfast : black coffee and a light activia yogurt with cereal : 165
Lunch : Green beans, some chicken, slice cheese, 2 slices low cal toast : 175
Dinner : Low-fat beef stewed in water on a white bun : 233 
Other : some chocolate.... 52


Total : 625


Out take : 704


TOTAL : -79!! :-)


So I got this new app on my itouch : My Fitness Pal. It's pretty cool. It tracks what you eat, what you exercise, your weight and your goals. It's free. It has a ton of foods in there, even by brand name! I think it will really help me because I can get on it anytime... like when i can't get on here. I am sooo motivated today. I know the food was a lot but i made up for it in exercising! I just made made myself workout for an hour and a half to work off those disgusting calories!!


I was looking through my photos and looking back to when I was 107 and 110 and I looked so good and happy. Then I looked at the pictures when I started purging and was more like 115 and 118 and looked god awful. My cheeks were rosy, my face was sort of puffy and I just look like a balloon. Then I look at pictures of me at 120 without any purging... Just eating like a "normal" person. I don't look all weird in the face anymore but I do look fat. Especially my legs. and bones arent visible at all anymore. Looking through these pictures really makes me want to be back there. thin and happy. I need to be there. so I will be there. I will make concrete goals. 


Think thin everyone!!


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Measurements

November 15th :                           November 26th : 

waist : 24 inches                          Waist : 24

bust : 32                                       Bust : 32

hips : 32.5                                    Hips : 32! Down 0.5

butt : 36 (argh)                              Butt : 35.5! Down 0.5

thigh : 19.5                                   Thigh : 19.25! Down 0.25 

wrist : 5.5                                     Wrist : 5.5

bicep : 8.5                                    Bicep : 8.5

Weight : 119 .5                                Weight : 117.5

Total loss : 1.25 inches.... And 2 pounds...

Hmmm..... 

So I found the Thin movie documentary on youtube. I'm at part 6 right now. Today I have the house to myself and I am determined to workout so hard. I have been doing leg lifts, crunches, squats and i am going to do some push-ups soon. I am thinking about going to the gym but I probably won't. I hate that I have to drive there and it's like almost 30 minutes away! But there is a scale there.... but maybe I shouldn't weigh myself until I am sure I have lost. You weigh more after you exercise anyway. I will wait. 

I really want to get to 115 soon. And then 111. At 111 my bmi will be 18.5. My lowest weight was 107 and that bmi was 17.8. Sometimes its weird to think I was there at one time. And I remember thinking i was still huge but if you look at the numbers i wasn't. I think I will take the dog for a walk now. Then I have to finish the paper.

Out take : 190 so far.

Check out the thinspo i posted.

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Monday Nightly

So firstly...
If I am thin enough I will save money on shaving cream because there will be less to shave.
If I am thin enough people will use me as thinspiration
If I am thin enough I can wear anything I want and look damn good in it


So I picked up the dress and veil and garter! The lady who helped me do up the dress kept asking if i had lost weight :-) Somehow I think I have lost weight but also my boobs seem way huge! I swear when its almost that time of the month my boobs grow at least a cup size! Its crazy


So I am watching gossip girl and wishing it were a new episode... 


Intake:
oatmeal : 120
Sandwich : 135
snack of ham and low fat cream cheese : 45
roasted chestnuts : 150 (i know i shouldn't have but yummy)
4 bites of chicken, fresh green beans, 2 slices of bread : 275! awful
Total : 725


Out take : 567


TOTAL : 158


At least I got a lot of exercise in! I took both of the dogs on a walk today. It sure is a workout for my arms!


Hope everyone is well!!
I am not sure when I will get on next because of Thanksgiving but maybe I might squeeze some time in tomorrow.... Then who knows.


<3 

A Monday of Mondays

First things first. so i watched this show the other day i think it was on E! with my other half. it was about this anorexic girl who got down to 54 pounds! and she was 5 feet 5! they showed pictures and she was just bones and skin. she talked about what she ate and what she thought about and the rules she made for herself. the weirdest thing that i had never imagined before that she did was trick her body into sugar. she would eat about 200 packets of sweetener a day! she put it in everything. in mac and cheese, ramen noodles, salad.... whatever. she drank only every 4 hours and ate i think 2 times a day. at 10 in the morning and then at midnight. she was back to 107 in the show. it was a crazy show but somehow i felt like i connected to her and it didn't turn me off or anything. i will still lose weight. sometimes i wonder if they make these shows to scare us... does it ever scare any of us? I will make anew poll i think about it.


So I am picking up my wedding dress finally today. I was supposed to have it in April but so many things went wrong that I am only getting it now... my wedding is in less than a month! it is just the perfect dress! I absolutely love it so the wait was worth it :-)


So this will be an odd thing to write after that but I had been so constipated for the last 5 days i finally broke down and took a laxative yesterday. i hadnt taken one in so long that i forgot how bad they can be. but the good news is i am not constipated anymore. i feel so much better! i think it is one of the most uncomfortable feelings.... so now i can get back on schedule and lose lose lose. btw i used the laxative tea and it worked really well.


my weigh in this morning was 117. I know it is probably because of the laxative so i won't change my stats but i am glad it was not some huge number. thinking about it though, i really didnt eat a whole lot. i just felt like i did because nothing was coming out. i'm sure i will have a good number on the scale tomorrow. i really want to have my own scale... i wonder how hard it would be to hide one. hmmm...


so i absolutely love my frye boots :-) they are the best boots ever! 


i am about to eat breakfast and then off to get the dress:


intake: 
oatmeal, low sugar : 120


I hope you are all doing well! I will go comment on your posts now and catch up on all the ones i missed this weekend.


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Thinspo On a Thursday!

I want to be able to do that :-)

Some day...

Some real and some celeb...

Hope everyone is doing well!!

<3

A Lovely Thursday!

The sun is shining and the leaves are gorgeous! I love a lovely day in the fall :-)


I weighed myself today again... sometimes i am lucky and people aren't home
117.5!!! I have lost like a half a pound a day steady now for a couple days. New BMI : 19.6


Intake:
non fat plain yogurt with a little granola (110)
crackers and some low fat cream cheese (130)
sandwich with low cal bread (110) Each slice of bread only has 35 calories! Its made by nature's own
brownie ugh (150)
Total : 500.


Out take : 452 (Walking around campus, exercises and took the dog on a loooong walk)


Total : 48. not too bad but i shouldn't have eaten the brownie. i should have had an apple or something.


I still have a lot of walking around campus to do. My parking spot is so far away and i walk instead of taking the bus so it burns a lot of calories. 


Well i have to go but I should be on tonight and I will probably make another thinspo post.


Think Super Thin Thoughts!!


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