116. A loss is a loss right?

Well not the great loss I was hoping for but 116 means I am down 0.6 of a pound so that is still progress. And today is only day 2 of my 10 day diet thing. I am sipping on my s. f. red bull as I type :-) 
Just thought I would add this : 
Weight on 8/3 : 121
Weight on 8/12 : 116
So I lost 5 pounds in 9 days! I am not sure how that happened. But yay!! I have this feeling I will be plateauing soon... But I am going to stay positive and hope for the best!

I really should be living in the 60s... Edie Sedgewick here was one of the first clinically diagnosed and treated anorexics. She was 5'4'' and usually weighed between 80 and 100 pounds. 

Oh just a random unrelated update: i finally got my broken phone replaced! i had dropped it and cracked up the front screen the first day pretty much i got it back in February. It's the HTC Inspire and I love it.  :-) I need to go get a case for it. Insurance only replaces it once I think or something like that. 

I am so glad I have all you people that read my blog!! Makes me feel less crazy. Oh and those dreams I have... I think I only get them when i feel like life is getting out of control. I haven't had one since I started losing :-) 

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blast from the past...

So this is a picture of me a while back... I was 110 in this photo. A few weeks later I was at my lowest 107 but i don't have any pictures from then. I am in the purple... If i am thinking correctly I was 17 in this photo? maybe 16. I can't remember. I think 16. the girl to the left of me was my ana friend. we would reminisce in how much we "didn't" eat. the girl three to my right became bulimic. 

So the 10 Day is going well. I didn't have any yogurt around though so i skipped out on that had sugar snap peas for lunch. i am going to make some tea after I post this. My stomach is growling spectacularly right now :-) I forgot how much I love to feel my stomach all empty. I didn't take my vitamins at breakfast because since i didn't eat anything I thought it might make my stomach hurt. so i will take them with my dinner. i am surprised that i haven't eaten hardly anything and i feel great! i need to go get more s.f. red bull or whatever tonight. and that yogurt. 


Love you all! <3


Later.... 
today:
s.f. red bull : 10 cals
sugar snap peas : 28 ( ok so i love these and had a ton!)
tomato : 11 and cherry tomatoes : 15
lettuce : 12
carrot: 16
= 92
i also had some tea and lots and lots of water!!


With that intake i sure hope the scale makes me happy!! 


so i went and got more sugar free red bull they were on sale so yay! and then i got vanilla and blueberry activia light for tomorrow and the rest of these 9 days!


Love you all!
<3

10-Day Diet Full On

So I got on the scale this morning as always and i was glad to see the scale had stayed the same. 116.6   i was worried about gaining from yesterday but all is good. my hair is almost her color just a tiny bit redder in some places and blonder in others... i'll post some pics later... 

Now I am starting a super diet with Jane Pansy! Here are the guidelines::


Breakfast: Sugar Free Red Bull (i may be cheep and get sugar free monsters...) (10 cals)
Lunch: Activia Light Yogurt (70 cals)
Dinner: Fresh fruits and veggies (whatever that adds up to...)
Negative calories foods are ok for snacks. 
Decaf tea and water to stay fuller.
Weigh in first thing in the morning. 
Get 7-9 Hours of sleep.
Do yoga or another light exercise or more if you can handle it.


I am pretty excited for this!! I am sipping on my sugar free red bull now :-) And surprisingly my stomach is good with that... 


I will post pics of me again when i get to 111 :-) that is 5.6 pounds away. Hopefully it will be a lot closer after this diet!


Stay strong and positive girlies!!! I am off to search for some amazing thins and read all of your wonderful blogs!! 


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GYM! HERE I COME!

I have not been to the actual gym in like 2 whole months! I know! Fat ASS! 
I am about to walk out the door :-)
unfortunately i caved and had a big veggie salad... no dressing though. 
anyways I am off to burn a bajillion calories! 


I will read blogs and post more thinspo and such tonight!


<3


Back from the gym :-) I biked at a good pace on one of those machines for an hour and 30 minutes! When i got up to stretch my legs felt like jelly haha walking home i probably looked like a bafoon... oh well. i am happy with how long i worked out! 
i can't believe i have gained 6 followers since i got back on here sunday night! I love you all! you make me feel heard :-)
it is seven o clock and i am now trying to procrastinate and avoid eating dinner... i think i will have some chicken broth later though. 

later.... ok so i am feeling incredibly weak right now :-( it's good and then not good. so i am about to get a glass of water, maybe some tea and curl up on the couch and watch desperate housewives :-) i skipped out on the broth because i am too tired to heat it up haha i almost caved and had some peanut butter and then gave it to my dog instead. he loved it. for some reason i am really craving starbursts!! my mouth is watering thinking about them. is that so weird?

Dream Horrors

First things first:


Calorie intake:: 425
Calorie out take:: 652


Total :: -227


So i always have crazy dreams... my craziest have been: 


screaming in my sleep and running for the door while thinking there are bugs in my hair and trying to get them out. i had to be tackled to wake me up.


waking up and jumping out of bed because i was sure someone was standing in my doorway


jumping out of bed because i thought the apartment was full of smoke like it was on fire


and last night was this: i woke up in the middle of the night sure that someone had just knocked on my bedroom window. 


i really don't know why i get these dreams... oh and another one a while back was i dreamed that the skin on my foot was falling off and i was trying to hold it on.


i am hoping tonight is much better! 


sweet dreams everyone!!


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Mornings Mornings

I love it when I start my day off right :-) 
I am down to 118 today. That's 0.6 of a pound down since yesterday and 3 pounds down since Wednesday when I started weighing in again. I know it's a lot to lose in less than a week but I think when you start losing or start losing again you always get this nice big break. Then when I hit 115 again I will be stuck for a while but I am starting off better. Last time I started at 125. 


FOOD ick
breakfast: watery smoothie: 45
                  special k and like a tbsp light plain soy milk : 100
                  and COFFEE!!
lunch:       salad no dressing : 25
                 caprese salad i made : 70 (one tomato with some fresh mozzarella and italian herbs)
dinner: tbd


So i stayed up last night till like 1 or 2 am. thats pretty late for me haha. i was just doodling for my tattoo and looking at people's blogs and finding thinspo. And then somehow I just woke up this morning at 7am. And I am like not even tired. I am actually pretty full of energy... :-) 


Today's agenda:

• go to doctor at 9:45 (nothing too special... last time i went my blood sugar was super low so she wanted to check it again. well i hadn't eaten that day so of course it was low. let's hope it is a little better this time.)
• find a cute little storage thing for my bathroom.... i have way to many things just crammed under the sink
• line the drawers of my desk with this super cute flowery wall paper i found :-)
• eat very little
• online shop at forever 21

I will be looking for more thinspo shortly to add to my thinspo page.

and i will be reading blogs!

MY TATTOO:

it is going to go on my right back and shoulder so like it starts on the shoulder blade and wraps around the top of my arm and chest :-) i have pictures on one of these pages ^^ of my doodles so far

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Wow It HAs Been Forever!! I am BACK!

my incredibly awful weight gained up to: 118.6


i need to get back on track and get back to where i was when i left... 115. and then i would love to get to 111. i love that number. and 105 would be smashing.


i am working on my tattoo design now so of course i went and found some tattoo thins! check it out on one of my pages ^^ 
it's going to be flowers done in an alice in wonderland original style illustrations and i might throw a mushroom in there. :-D


missed you girlies!!


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A swan of swans

So today was alright. For some reason my stomach has been getting very full very fast. it's good for weight loss :-) for lunch i attempted to eat some chicken, just grilled chicken and i could only manage like 4 or 5 bites. after that i was so incredibly full! good stuff


so i saw black swan today!!! finally :-) i absolutely loved it! i saw it at the dollar theater and can't wait to buy it and watch it over and over! 

SHE IS GORGEOUS!!! Skinny and not super skinny. She is just brilliant! Watch leon the professional if you haven't yet!

Much love!

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Wow Its been like 3 months!

Ok so things have been crazy for the past few months. my husband has deployed recently and so i have gotten a little off track. i have still been running a lot... i now run between 2 and 5 miles every other day ish. sometimes when the weather is just beautiful i don't want to stop and just keep going haha. i wonder if any of the people I used to follow are still around...?
on the scale... I am 117. ugh. so like 3 pounds up from my last entry i think. i have been horrible with food lately. i don't eat a lot but i eat awful foods. like chinese last week. and a burger on yesterday (i only ate half but still). i dont always eat dinner but then i will have chocolate before i go to bed. it has just been a mess really.
i need to get back with it. i should be on here every day i think. so please help me keep on track.

just a little happy note: somehow i have managed to keep the space between my thighs :-) i want to make it bigger though like how it was a few months ago. i think i was down to like 111 around christmas...

been watching antm :-) i wish i was tall enough... only 5'5''

think thin thoughts!!
love <3

A Wednesday for Wednesdays

So the wedding was of course amazing and I was at 114 for it. Maybe less since I didn't hardly at all for the two days before and during but I also didn't have access to a scale. 114 was the last weight i had seen on the scale. 
I am 116 now which isn't the worst like I said but I know I need to get to at 112. 


So as for the measurements I have : 

November 26th :                           January 12th : 

waist : 24 inches                          Waist : 23.5 

bust : 32                                       Bust : 31.5

hips : 32                                       Hips : 31

butt : 35.5                                    Butt : 34.5

thigh : 19.25                                 Thigh : 18.5 

wrist : 5.5                                     Wrist : 5.5

bicep : 8.5                                    Bicep : 8.5

Weight : 117 .5                                Weight : 116

With only a pound and a half down since Nov. 26th that is terrible! Argh!

I have lost inches though and the space between my legs is great!! I put my knees together feet forward and no part of my thigh touches the other one! That was one of my major goals the first time around. I do not know how it didn't happen or I was too busy counting calories and all that I forgot to actually look at myself in the mirrir for progress. I was mainly worried about the scale by the time I got to 115 and then after that until 107.

Oh and I went to the gym for an hour and 30 minutes today :-)

Anyways, I want to put up pictures but I am afraid they will show up on like google or something and someone will see it. We'll see.

I hope you all are great! I am going to comment you now!

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I am done with exams!! ABC update

So I am done with exams and I am so relieved. Here is my progress so far in day 3 of the abc.


Day 3 : 300 total

           : 70 calorie yogurt (no cereal this time)
           : apple and slice of 35 calorie toast : 85 
           : chicken and lettuce 50
           : melba toast 50
           : 0.5 ounce cheese 25
           :TOTAL : 280 :-) 


Somehow I wasn't even that tired or hungry!! I hope tomorrow goes well. the first day is always the easiest. I will comment on all of your posts now!!
I am not counting exercise... Thats not part of the plan. But i still am exercising just less.
And I am happy to have 13 followers now! Thank you all!


Tomorrow : 


Day 4 : 400 calorie total.
           : 70 cal yogurt again
           : apple, clementine, slice of toast : 110
           : i am not sure i will eat dinner because i am working :-)
           : i will pack 3 thin slices of low fat ham from the deli and melba toast : 78
           : thats all i can think of for now


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How are my ladies?

So I had thought about becoming vegetarian again. That is pretty difficult because if the house I live in currently.
So here is what I am doing instead : the ABC (Ana Boot Camp) diet. I got this idea from Ammie. Check out her blog. She has come soooo far!! Pretty amazing! I think you can click on her name and it should go there...? let me know if it works.
It is a random assortment of calorie intakes for 50 days (0 to 500).
I will put up the calorie intakes by week or something like that. I have also made a page with the whole plan on it.


I have already done days 1 and 2 which are 500 or less each.
Day 3 : 300 total (this is tomorrow)
           : 70 calorie yogurt (no cereal this time)
           : apple and slice of 35 calorie toast : 85
           : a few bites of chicken, salad, and maybe melba toast : 50 + 50
           : and that leaves me 45 calories extra


Day 4 : 400
Day 5 : 100
Day 6 : 200
Day 7 : 400
Day 8 : 300
Day 9 : 500
Day 10 : Fast


I am hoping this goes well. It has to. I need more structure other than just thinking in the back of my head how many calories i have eaten so far. Now i will think : if i eat this i will have this many left.... 


I am going to quickly find some thinspo and get that up then go to sleep.
I have my last exam tomorrow :-)


Think so so so thin!!!


oh and here is a review of the abc plan i found on a website : http://dietchoices.com/diet-plans/ana-boot-camp-abc-diet/

Sally reviewed June 20, 2009

I did this diet about 9 months ago and i lost 20kg on it, lead me to hospitalisation but it was the best 50 days of my whole entire life. i highly recommend it, its great i then later a futher 10kg and was re hospitalised down to 39kg i think, i am now in recovery for anorexia, but dam it was worth it... skinny is priceless. the feeling the look everything about what i went through was priceless, the most valuable time i have had in my life say what you will think what you will abc diet is gold. love. xioxo

A Little Setback

I bought some nice lingerie today for my wedding day :-)

I hope you are all staying strong this holiday season. I have been trying hard these past 2 days but it has not been so good.
I won't go into yesterdays intake and such but I will say that I was not in the negative like I usually try to be.
Today I will be. I just got back from a long run with the dog :-) I burned about 411 calories running and I will get more in later.


So I usually have some pretty weird dreams. Do you guys ever have really weird dreams?
So my dream last night was this: I had mushrooms growing off of my legs. Like not little one but pretty good sized mushrooms. I go to my doctor and ask her what to do about them. She picks one off and gives it to me and says "Here you can eat it." What in the world does that dream mean? If anyone has any ideas, please share.


Think Thin girls!!


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Quiet Time

So pretty good today!
I am down to 116.6 :-)


Intake : 530
Out Take : 693
Total : -163
This is for now... I may do more exercise.


So I am back at my house. No inlaws or anyone to disturb me. Me and the dog :-)
I will be studying like crazy! And maybe see some of the girls. We will see.


I won't be able to fast because of the studying and when I fast I can't think as well. So I will just eat a little and go running everyday I am here. I will only be here until sunday morning i think.


The Office and 30 Rock and Outsourced on tonight!!


I love 30 Rock!


Stay strong and think thin girlies!! I will try and post a thinspo by the end of the night!!!


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Oh So Sleepy

This will be a short one. I am so tired. One exam down and one to go. Oh and I start working on the 15th. I am excited! 


Intake : 533
Out Take : 610
Total : -77


So I know that I am in the negative but I feel so huge right now. I think it is because I am so tired and I did not get to actually run today :-( I did other workouts and walked instead. I feel so drained. I think preparing for the exam just took everything out of me. I am a 4.0 student and so I study like crazy and make sure I don't get below 4.0.
I think it is part of the OCD type behavior.... I am a little bit of a perfectionist.


Stay Strong Girls! 
No thinspo for today but if you haven't already, check out the past few days. I have pu out a few thinspo posts.


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Sleep :-) Ahhhh Sleep

Intake : 461
Out Take : 555 
Total : -94 
That's just for now. I still have to eat dinner with the in laws and then I will burn it all off before I go to bed.


Anyway... So I ran again today probably like 5 miles again. I also did some pilates. But after I got back from the run and showered, I could barely move for some reason. I don't know why. Yesterday I still had quite some energy after the run. 
So I took a nap. I slept for like 3 hours and I still feel pretty weak. It makes no sense to me. The nap was great though!! I love sleep! I haven't been sleeping well through the nights so it was so nice to catch up a little. 


I got on the scale today after my nap and I was 117.2. My new accurate scale is great because I don't have to guess like I did on the old one that didn't have a digital thing on it. I will update my goals because I am back to where the old scale said I was almost. 


Stay Strong girlies!!


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Monday of Mondays

I resisted eating a lovely lindor chocolate ball last night! I was so proud because usually i eat one chocolate every night and it is the first time in quite sometime i made it without one. sort of a ritual so i am glad i broke it.


Intake : 501
Out Take : 696


Total : -195!


I have fallen into my old ways and i am good with that. I start by exercising like crazy. I just go and go and go and go... Today: I ran 5 miles today. Then I did an at home workout : leg lifts, crunches and such, and then I stretched for like 30 or so minutes. Then I went shopping for my wedding band. I swear I walked and walked for so long. I finally came across the perfect one and I can't wait for it to arrive :-) Oh and I am about to burn another 100 or so calories jogging in place. It will probably end up more like 150 or 200.


I know I eat a lot but I try to make up for it. I started this way last time and after about 2 or so weeks I started eating more like 200 calories and then none. I will be skinny soon.


I love you all! I won't write much more but I will post more thinspo! 


Think Thin Girlies!!


Oh and I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE BLACK SWAN!! It's coming to the indie theater near me and I am so excited!!!!


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Super Motivated Sunday!!

So get this... I sort of ate a lot but I worked out so hard. 
Intake: 875 (I went to Jersey Mike's with my father in-law and so had to get a small sub. sort of ruined my intake but oh well. )


Out Take: 1110!! Can you believe it? I took the dog for a loooong run like 5 or 6 miles and then I went and worked out at the gym later! I am not sure what even got me so motivated but I didn't want to stop. I had to stop when the gym closed. Have I totally lost it? I think maybe I was so mad that I ate so much that I just had to keep burning more and more calories! 


Total : -235!


Today's weight : 118 which is 0.2 less than yesterday. I know it's huge. It will be less soon. I just have to keep working out and eat less. Let's hope tomorrow's is less :-)


Oh and I finally found the charger for my camera so maybe I will put up some pictures.... 


I hope everyone is doing great!!


I am going to post some thinspo now! I will have fun finding some awesome pictures!


I love all of your comments :-) Thank you!


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Good Morning!

Today when I woke up I was ready to go. I laid in bed for a couple minutes with the dog and then got up. I was disappointed when I got on the scale... I think running yesterday was not the best for weight loss. I am sure it is good but instead of making me lose I think it made me gain.


I am in a good mood though! I am ready to stay focused and lose lose lose. 


Breakfast : low sugar oatmeal : 120
Lunch :
DInner : 
Out take :
Total :


I will take the dog for a run or walk again today. I think if I just keep running that eventually, hopefully soon, I will lose again. Just build up the muscles first I guess.


I will be posting thinspo hopefully today. It is my bridal shower but I should have some time.


Stay Strong and Think Thin Ladies!!


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This was me at 110. Its a little hard to see but the collar bones are definitely there.

Sometimes I think my mind plays tricks on me

I bought a scale today. I had been using the one here but I did not feel like it was very accurate so I got one today with 0.2 lb increments. I like being able to know exactly how much I weigh. exactly. this afternoon it said 118.2. i think it will be less in the morning.


i was driving today and i thought i saw a naked man walking down the road. turned out he was wearing khaki carrharts. 


Intake : 657 
Out take : 476
Total : 181


the little app i have on my itouch tells you what weight you will be if everyday were like today and it said in 5 weeks i would be 103. I would love to be 103!


so my sister also "diets" and her bmi is 18.4. Point one under weight. she is super skinny. i think she is also ana but i know she probably wouldn't tell me. i think she knows i was before. i don't know though. lucky her though she is taller than me.


hope everyone is getting super thin!


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